I recently just returned from the San Diego Comic Con. I had a lot of fun and I've never met so many people that I will never forget now probably never meet again unless fate dictates it. I loved the trip and i want to go back next year already.

But when i came home Sunday night, I found out my 16 year old cat, Buttons, passed away the day before. She was so weak. I knew she had liver failure but I had been hoping she would at least make it till I got home. Luckily though, she wasn't alone. My dad found her Saturday morning laying on the carpet. He picked her up and sat down on the couch with her, talking to her - then he told her: "It's okay... you can let go." She then lifted her head and my dad told me she gave 4 very loud meows - meows he had never heard before - and he then gave her a gentle scratch on the head then she went limp and went into a coma. My Mom and Dad stayed with her for another half hour before she gave a few gasps that got smaller and shorter and then she grew quiet and passed away quietly.

I just wish I could have been there. I miss her a lot. I've cried a lot... But i am happy she wasn't alone. My dad was the only other person that she loved a lot - she sat with him and would cuddle with him. My cat was very particular about whom she loved and whom she allowed to get close to her. My mom told me my dad cried when she died - which i never thought would happen, so it just shows how much Buttons did mean to him as well. They were t.v. buddies... she would sit with him, watch t.v. with him - and then promptly lick his dishes clean after he finished eating something.

She was a good cat though. So quiet and reserved, always knowing where her place was and yet owning me and wrapping me around her little paws. Buttons always slept between my legs when she was younger - and when she got older she would sleep on my pillow with my face buried in her belly. I often would wake up to her licking my face too.... and if i tried to move away she'd wrap her paws around my face and would keep going, being very insistent that i stay in place so she could do her job.

She was the only cat I've ever met that didn't like her belly scratched. She hated her belly touched, but she would fall all over you if you would wiggle your fingers with even a suggestion of a head and neck scratch. she did enjoy being cuddled.

I'll miss her and I loved her a lot. She was not only my best friend, but she was a soul mate of sorts. She always knew how to comfort me when I needed it. I know she'll be the first to greet me in heaven when I die... but I am going to miss her and It'll take me quite a while to get used to her not being here. My room feels so large and empty without her, and I feel like I'm ripped up inside with her gone. it's just so...... sudden...

She's buried outside my window in a box, wrapped in a towel with her paws crossed in the same way she always would sit, looking so prim and proper and very regal-like. My parents put some photos of me in the box as a memento I guess; and dad says he's kinda glad I wasn't here to see her go because he's still haunted by her meows (and wanting to know what she said) and by the gasps before she just went still. and In a way I am glad I didn't see that and I'll only remember her being so pudgy and snuggly - but I feel guilty because I feel like i wasn't here for her in the end and I left her to die without me.

After I got home and found out, I went out to where she was buried and talked to her for awhile... said I'm sorry I wasn't there and then kissed the rock she's buried under. I'll probably be out there for a while more... a couple more days while i try to grow used to this. but she was a good cat... the best ever. No other cat will be like her and no other could take her place completely. She was my true buddy.... my companion and my baby. I'll miss her and I love her. I always will.

~Melissa